Midnight Sun
by mango.munchkin
Summary: Exactly what the title suggests - my own version of Twilight from Edward's point of view, from the very beginning. My first story, give it a chance!
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: So, firstly I'd like to say hi, everyone! I'm new to fanfiction, and this is my first story. Having been recently freed from school for the summer holidays, I decided that it was time to get back into writing. So, Midnight Sun is kinda my experiment, but I'm planning on completing it, granted it is actually read by people. **

**This story is exactly what it says. Purely Edward's point of view, it will be following the events of Twilight. No surprises there.**

**I will be able to update fairly regularly (I hope). I don't want to make any promises in case I'm unable to fulfill them, but I'd say that since I'm on holiday and all, hopefully I'll be able to post a new chapter at least once a week?**

**Anyway. Please, please, please give me a chance. Read the story, and even if you didn't like it, leave a review?**

**Thanks!  
**

PROLOGUE

I honestly could not remember how many times I'd sat in cafeterias like this, surrounded by vapid teenagers and the incessant buzzing of their thoughts. Always worrying and complaining about the most insignificant things, I could justly say that teenagers were the lowest exhibitions of human behaviour – on that topic I had the utmost expertise.

On this particular day, the topic that had the majority of the student body's attention was the new transfer student. Many of the students – particularly those of the male variety – seemed to be quite preoccupied with her. Having seen her a million times in their thoughts, I could see the reason behind the preoccupation – just barely. Pale albino skin, flowing brown hair and a petite frame; one particular Mike Newton had also had the courtesy to detail to me in his thoughts, graphically, the shape of her 'gorgeous ass'.

So, sitting at the school cafeteria's uniform tables with my 'family', I waited with not-so-enthusiastic anticipation for the new girl – Isabella Swan.


	2. Chapter One

**Author's Note: First proper chapter! Yay! I know the prologue I wrote was reeeaally short, but hopefully it got some people interested in my story. :) So here's Chapter One, which runs parallel to First Sight from Twilight. Again, please review, even if it's just a short comment.**

**I forgot to write this on the prologue, but here's my disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing them, and I do not profit in any way whatsoever.**

CHAPTER ONE

_Edward Cullen._

My name jumped out at me through all the other thoughts, and I reacted instantaneously, and unconsciously. Lifting my eyes curiously, I shuddered slightly as I met those of Jessica Stanley's. Her thoughts were never a pleasant place to be, especially during her supposed infatuation with me last year. Curious, my eyes slid from hers to an unfamiliar pair, dark brown and deep. Ah, this must be Isabella. Rather than eavesdropping in on their conversation, which was probably by far more polite, I tuned into their minds, allowing the gentle buzz become an onrush of voices and thoughts. Jessica's hit me first like a slap, and as usual she was thinking foremost about herself, then about _us_, our lives.

_No one can resist asking about the Cullens. If you ask me, it's a bit like, weird, having them paired up AND like, living together. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen are so young, too! I mean, the doctor is like, totally hot still! Oh my god I can't believe I just thought that…_

I shivered, unwillingly to hear Carlisle described as _hot_. Shaking my head slightly, I focused on the new girl, trying to hear what she was thinking.

Silence.

All that was there was silence. She couldn't _not _be thinking anything. That was impossible. I strained myself a little, opening further and allowing the already overwhelming swarm of 'voices' become a tidal wave of thoughts, struggling to pick up the inner workings from her new and foreign mind. Still, all I could hear were the mostly shallow thoughts of all of Forks High – all except her. My fingers twitched unconsciously, fidgeting in confusion and slight frustration as I noticed subconsciously that I was picking apart something on my tray. Jasper noticed the slight rift in my emotional state, distracted for once from all the scents mingling around us. Nudging the foot of my chair lightly, he raised his eyebrow infinitesimally, but enough to attract the attention of the three of us left. Emmett and Rosalie untangled themselves from their embrace but continued to face away, letting us know that they were listening.

"It's the new girl," I said in a low undertone. My lips would be moving much too fast for anyone to lip-read, and knowing the students in this school, they'd learnt to leave us alone. "I can't _hear _anything coming from her. It's like she's got some mental block, and I can't get through it at all. I've never experienced anything like this."

My family – minus Alice and my 'parents' – had very predictable reactions. Having access to their thoughts 24/7 meant that I knew each of them and their personalities very intimately.

_So he can't read her thoughts. Big deal. Oh god, Emmett messed up my hair again… _As always, Rosalie was completely absorbed with herself and her appearance, striving always to keep up her perfect image.

_Oh what I wouldn't give for Eddie to be unable to read my thoughts! He wouldn't be able to look in my head when we fight, and I would whoop his skinny little ass- Oh wait, oops… _Emmett only thought of his pride, forever immature.

_Can't read her thoughts? That's weird… never happened before… oh god, that mouth-watering smell…! _Jasper was by far the most understanding, but being new to our lifestyle, he had yet to control his most animalistic desires, and I knew I couldn't confide in him. I needed Alice, or Carlisle.

"…moved down here two years ago from somewhere in Alaska." Jessica's high-pitched voice penetrated my thoughts again and I refocused, raising my eyes to meet Isabella's. She was nervous, looking quickly away as I continued to stare at her, as if I could lift her thoughts from her mind by staring long enough.

"Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?" Finally, her voice! Granted, it wasn't her inner one, but at least I knew that I wasn't _completely_ blocked from her. Focusing again, I tried to single out the thoughts that matched her outer voice. Something kind, gentle… a touch of innocence and sweetness; the closest I got to that was Angela Weber, but I knew her, and she was occupied with love-lined thoughts of Ben Cheney, her crush of a long time. Tuning into their conversation again, I heard Jessica's reply.

"That's Edward." Her words were accompanied by uncomfortable thoughts of us in passionate embraces, before they faded with waves of jealously and indignation.

_Calling on Edward already, are we? Well it's too bad; he didn't want me, so he sure as hell isn't going to want you!_

"Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." I turned my face away, smuggling the ever-so-slight smile that began to crawl over my lips. Jessica's pursuit had been one of the more _determined_, by far, but I could not do anything but turn her away – like many others before her. I felt bad though, irrationally, for this trusting girl, sitting there with no idea as to how Jessica really felt.

"Let's go."

Emmett broke through my thoughts and I stood, shaking off these unnecessary feelings while picking up my untouched tray, and together we left the cafeteria.

Having paired off, my family disappeared, Emmett and Rosalie to find some 'private' time, no doubt, and Jasper to find Alice. Expanding my concentration, I searched for the familiar wavelengths of my little (and favourite) sister, curious as to where she'd disappeared to. Finding her in one of her classes, I sighed as I recognised the focus of her thoughts. As always, she was worrying about Jasper – wondering if he had enough restraint to make it through another day.

Walking slowly to my junior Biology class, I allowed the swarm of 'voices' in my head (god, I'd heard _that_ one before) to calm into a less annoying murmur of thoughts. As usual I was one of the first in the class – many of the students had 'better' things to do than be in class early, but having lived for as long as I had, and without a significant other, I relished in the slight peace before Mr. Banner, the teacher, began his spiel.

Scattering my books over the table, I leaned back, indulging again in the joys of having the table to myself – not that any of the students would dare sit next to me. Watching as the rest of the class entered, I perked as I heard one thought in particular.

_...she's probably just as shy as me normally, and today's her first day! I wish I could say something... but it's really awkward..._ Angela Weber, as always, held only kind sentiments towards others and today was no different, I noted, as I watched her escort the new girl in through the door. I vaguely registered that she would have to sit next to me, my table being the only one with a free seat. I felt a little sorry for her, knowing the discomfort that came with being with one of _us _for too long a period, but recognised that this could be an opportunity to pry open her mind, and solve this mystery. I shoved my useless books across so that half the desk was free as she walked slowly towards the teacher.

_Just my luck that Cullen gets to sit with her. Oh well, at least she's in my class, I guess... and Cullen will be ice king anyway, so no problems there..._ I smirked to myself, thinking how wrong Newton was. There would be no reason for him to be intimidated, with his silly human pride and need to establish male dominance. I had no interest in Isabella and it would stay that way. I briefly realised that I still couldn't hear anything from where she was standing, and for a moment my frustration resurfaced, but then she passed by my seat and everything stopped.

I was surrounded – suffocating, choking, _encased_ in the sweetest smell I'd ever experienced in a century. My body tensed, ready for the hunt, and I took a deep breath, savouring the scent while raising my eyes to meet those of my prey. Her cheeks were stained invitingly, deliciously, and she stumbled, blowing her mouth-watering flavour towards me like the wicked temptation she was. She continued walking, embarrassed no doubt, but all I could think of was the scorching thirst that burned my throat. I could just imagine the relief, her pale slender neck pressed to my lips as I indulged in the most sinful of pleasures, tasting that perfect scent as it quenched my fire and my thirst in the most blissful manner.

I _wanted _her. I _needed _her. And no one, _nothing_, could stop me.

There were twenty-four other humans in the room; frail, weak, vulnerable humans who I could take out in an instant. Who would be first? The girl? Or the witnesses? The innocent witnesses... or perhaps I could wait after class, charm her into following me, into falling for my trap. It would be easy, so simple; I knew how to use my charm in my favour. But what then? I would kill an innocent girl, and then what? We would have to leave. Flee from our home. I would be uprooting my family, forcing them away from one of the most secure places ever that we'd been able to find. Could I do that?

I could see their reactions – Carlisle and Esme would hold nothing against me. They would understand. Alice would be disappointed, but she wouldn't do anything I didn't want. Emmett wouldn't care less, but Rosalie would kick up a fuss, caring only of herself and having to go through the hassle of moving. And Jasper... perhaps for Jasper this would be his breaking point. Seeing me take a life, indulge in this forbidden desire... it would not help him in his fight for control.

In the expanses of my mind, through the thick thirst-induced fever, I heard her quiet murmurs of introduction with the teacher, and for a brief portion of a second I was reminded of the situation. She was _human_ – god, so perfectly human – and I would not, _could not_ take her life. I had to find the resolve to endure this hell, this torture that was sent down to me, the torture I deserved.

But just as I steadied myself, she returned, sliding into the seat so close to me, so close I could feel the scorching heat radiating off her skin, her sweet, _tantalising_ skin, skin so easy to break through to the mouth-watering nectar beneath...

No.

How could I be thinking this?! I had built up a century of restraint, resolve and control. How could this creature, so small and vulnerable, be the one to break it!

I would not allow it.

Gripping the table, I leaned as far away from her as I could. I heard the miniscule protests of the wood, and I forced myself to relax, to be careful and keep the masquerade that we'd managed to slowly create. I would not be the one to ruin it for my family.

I noticed, from the corner of my eye, that _she _was smelling her hair, probably thinking that she was being ever so stealthy. A small part of me found this amusing, that she thought that I was repulsed by her smell. Repulsed and irrevocably tempted, she was a mystery in a mystery. It was even more infuriating that I couldn't hear what she thought, couldn't know if I was acting too recklessly. She brushed her hair so that it fell in front of her face, and I grimaced as yet again, her scent blew forward and circled around me like the plague. She _was not _helping.

For the next hour I sat, much too frozen for a human, with fists clenched, unbreathing, unmoving, staring down at that _girl _while listening to Banner drone on and on about things I'd learnt a long time ago. _She_ didn't look at me, save for once, when her wide, fearful eyes met mine, and I saw a glimpse of myself reflected back at me through her deep brown eyes – someone, some_thing_ barely human, with coal black eyes and a look of hatred. I chastised myself briefly for being so impolite, but then the bell rang – never before had I rejoiced so at the dull sound of that bell! My freedom, my release! I rose, swiftly and fluidly, gathering my books in a heartbeat as I fled. I noted offhandedly that my movements were much too fast for humans, so I forced myself to relax as I ran from my hell and from my fear.

I passed Emmett, and even he was able to see my distress. I could see his intentions in his mind, and tried to avoid him, not wanting to face a confrontation, but Emmett, ever determined, caught up, placed a heavy hand on my shoulder and held me, forcing me to taste the flickering remainders of her delicious flavour.

_Where are you going, man? Don't you have a class? Not that any of us needs to go... _His thoughts trailed off on a tangent before refocusing, and his eyebrows raised slightly, waiting for my response. Cursing him briefly for choosing _now_ to care, I shook my head, reclaimed my shoulder and fled to my car. I managed to get in and shut the door in under a second, not allowing any of her tempting scent to flood in and corrupt me. I noticed Emmett shaking his head as he walked to whatever unnecessary class he now had, his thoughts trailing behind him.

_Eddie my man, you are losing it. You know what, I think he just really needs to get laid...oh great, I'm going to get it for that one..._

I sat there, debating and arguing with myself before I realised that there was a way for me to escape. I hated the monster within me, the one that had called for Isabella's blood, but there was a way to keep that monster locked away. All I needed to do was run. Run... funny how I had let one little girl turn me into a coward. But now wasn't the time for my manly pride to get in the way. If I was to leave Isabella with her life, which she deserved, I would need to do all I could to ensure that I had no contact with her. I looked out the driver's window, noting the extra moisture in the air and wound the window down, relishing for once in the clean dewy smell of forest air. I could do this. I could save her life and my sanity, my humanity.

Stepping down from my Volvo, I walked towards the administration office, my hands stuffed in my pockets and my head low. I would not think of where Isabella was now, what she was doing, what _I _could do... Shaking my head, I pushed the door open gently as I was enveloped in the warm air inside the office, and I approached the desk slowly, trying to compose myself and bring out the charm that Esme always said I had.

"Um... Mrs. Cope?" I smiled, being careful not to show too many teeth as the woman looked up, her heart jumping slightly as she noticed me.

"Oh Edward, nice to see you. How are you, dear?" Her eyes fluttered quickly and she readjusted her glasses and fluffed her startling red hair, and I groaned internally as I heard her thoughts.

_Gosh he is just so good-looking, just like his father Carlisle...oh yes, the doctor is veeery handsome indeed... oh look now, stop this. He's a student! _If only she knew just how old I really was.

"I'm fine Mrs. Cope, thank you. But, I have a small problem with my timetable that I hope you'd be able to help me with?"

_Oh if he had a problem it would be anything but small... NO, he's a student, he's a student! _I grimaced, utterly uncomfortable, but I had to do this.

"I wanted to swap out of my Biology II class, if that was okay? I could do that class in another slot, perhaps? Maybe enter one of the advanced classes? Or any other subject really, it doesn't matter." I forced myself to calm down, not to get too frantic. I knew if I did, it would scare her, and then I'd get nowhere.

"Well Edward, I'm afraid there are no other available classes with free places. Why do you need to swap?"

_Cullens all have perfect grades, everyone knows that. He can't be having any difficulties with the course... maybe it's the teachers? But Cullens all have perfect manners, too. I wonder..._

"No, it's just that I think I would be interested in another subject. Biology just isn't working for me..." How badly it was working, she'd never know. I leaned forward, what I hoped was a friendly, charming smile on my face as I tried to persuade her further, and then the door opened, a gust of wind blew in, and I was gone.

Isabella Swan stood behind me, her hair swirling around her face in the wind, and all around me, this small, warm office was filled with her maddening scent. I tensed, my back stiffening as I turned to shoot her one of the most ugly glares, my mind already rife with images, plans of getting what I wanted. The red-haired receptionist was just one human – a large improvement on the previous twenty-four. The monster within me roared and again, I tensed to strike, but then I remembered the careful plan that I had formulated in my car.

I just needed to avoid her. And that plan started _now_.

Spinning back to the receptionist quickly, I threw a smile that probably looked more like a grimace.

"Never mind, then. I can see that it's impossible." Remembering my manners, I used the last of my breath before I could escape. "Thank you so much for your help."

And then, I fled.

Alice and Emmett were there, waiting for me at my Volvo, while Jasper and Rosalie, the 'twins', stood behind.

"Edward, what's going on?" Alice and I rarely spoke out loud, preferring to communicate silently, and when she did vocalise her thoughts, it was a sure sign something big was up.

I couldn't respond, my own thoughts still scrambled by her sweet scent, and Jasper intervened, noticing my distress and muting it with his subtle gift. Nodding my thanks, I took my first deep breath of clean air before answering.

"It's Isabella Swan. I...She...It's just..." I was lost for words – and this _never _happened.

Alice frowned, her eyes unfocusing as they did when she used her gift of foresight and I groaned out loud as I saw the images which flashed before her mind, all of them starring Miss Isabella Swan – dead.

"Oh..." Her pale hand raised to cover her mouth, and Emmett, forever impatient, stomped his foot in an oddly childish manner.

"Guys. TELL US WHAT'S HAPPENING!" _I hate it when they have their silent little conversations! It's soo annoying, and I HATE being left out... _In another time, I would have found Emmett's thoughts amusing, and would have riled him up about them, but now, after _her_, I couldn't do anything but plead through my eyes with Alice.

"Has this got anything to do with when I saw you before? Come on Edward, tell us!" Emmett was close to breaking point, his impatience and concern for the family pushing him into frustration.

"I can't do this... I can't resist. I need to leave. Carlisle..." My thoughts became broken again as I planned my escape, my cowardly escape from this hell that had arrived.

_Edward. _Alice had my immediate attention, and I cringed as I imagined what sort of disappointment she was experiencing. _It's okay. Go. I'll explain everything to them, you just go. Find Carlisle. Do what you must. _Her thoughts were tinged with sadness, and I hated myself for bringing this sort of pain to her and Esme, who both hated it when our family was drawn apart. But it was either this, or Isabella's death. Nodding my head, I reached forward and dragged Alice into a quick hug before climbing into my car.

"Thank you, Alice. Goodbye."


	3. Chapter Two: Part One

**Author's Note: So I realise that my whole 'trying to post one chapter a week' didn't exactly work. So sorry, first of all. Secondly, I split this chapter from the book in two (Chap. 2, Open Book) because it was just getting too long. Hopefully (there's that word again!) I'll have the second half up in the coming week. **

**Also, I need to give shout-outs to Lissa powers and jules452, who have put me on their favs list (thank you guys so much!) and also to futurejkrowling-x, who has me on alerts. Thanks you guys!**

**Anyway, enjoy this chappy, took me long enough to write it, and please please please leave a review! Enjoy!**

**Oh and disclaimer: I'm just borrowing.**

CHAPTER TWO

I closed my eyes, remembering the black road as it whipped away beneath my fast wheels.

_Coward._

I shuddered, admonishing myself for being frightened away by a mere mortal girl. One so vulnerable and weak. Even walking in the fresh Alaskan air, these thoughts mocked me, jabbing at my mind with their scornful words and humiliating taunts. One girl, one frail human girl, had banished me from the place I had come to call home. She was a temptress, wrapped up into the perfect torture to punish me for the sins of this _un_-life. Just remembering her smell seemed to make it form here, miles away from her, and permeate this clean air. And, to add insult to injury, the mystery of her mind, the secrets of her thoughts, were locked away, hidden by those dark eyes... how infuriating!

_Mmm, he does look delicious when he gets all angsty... _

I sighed, resisting the urge to rub my temples with my fingers, merely because of Esme and the disapointment she would feel if she knew how rude I'd been.

"Tanya, how are you? Thank you again for letting me stay here with you, it is very gracious." I felt her lithe steps as she approached, smiling a little forcefully as I turned to address her.

"Oh Eddie, you know I consider you extended family; it's nothing." Her voice was sugary and a little high-pitched - I noted briefly and somewhat subconsciously, that it was nothing like the voice of someone else who'd been plaguing my thoughts - hers was gentler, kinder, more timid. I smiled slightly, picturing Tanya as someone timid. As if to reconfirm my thoughts, Tanya invaded my mind with her mental monologue.

_Nice of you to pay a visit... it's been far too long..._

I heard the implication and shuddered slightly, unwilling to see the rather graphic pictures that flashed through her mind. Needing to dissuade her from what she thought were my romantic intentions, I placed a firm hand on her shoulder, briefly diverting her attention - _he's touching me... oh yeah he can touch me all he wants... _- before beginning to explain.

"I've come for a...bit of a break, I guess you could say."

_Ooh, a bit of R&R is it, Edward? Well, I can help you with that..._

Her lewd suggestions just never ceased.

"No Tanya, not that. I'm sorry, but when I told you I wasn't... interested, I meant it." I winced a bit, regretting the bluntness of the statement. But, nevertheless, it was true. I had never felt the pull towards someone, the need to take a mate. Of course, after living decades with three perfect couples, it was something I yearned for, but again, living with perfect pairs made me stubborn to only settle with the one for me, the right one for me... my soulmate. But that notion had been left aside quickly. I'd soon come to terms with the fact that I would not have the love that Alice and Jasper shared, the passion that Emmett and Rosalie so publicly showed, or the peace that Carlisle and Esme had found with one another. I was destined to be alone, and to mate with Tanya in the way she was suggesting was out of the question.

_Okay Edward, I was just teasing. I mean, not really. I do want to jump you right now, but I'm sorry, okay? I'll stop. Kate and Irina bug me about it too. Do you want to tell me what's up, then?_

I smiled gratefully. Tanya was, inherently, a good person.

"It's a little... hard to explain..." I fumbled with the words in my mind, twisting them, trying to find the right way to describe what _that_ girl had done.

_It's rare to see you so speechless, Edward. Must be something big, eh?_

Tanya's tone was teasing and light, but I couldn't help but become frustrated. She wouldn't take this seriously. She wouldn't understand. So what was the point?

"It's not a joke, Tanya. And, it isn't big. It's... terrifying, and..." My words trickled to a halt, and I realised that putting this into words was much too hard, not to mention explaining it to someone like Tanya. "I'm sorry Tanya, I just can't explain."

"You know, at first I thought you were coming to... well, you know." She was embarrassed, used to being the irresistible succubus. She wasn't used to rejection. However, for her to admit it aloud to me meant something, and I felt compelled to... maybe, share in her humiliation.

"I know. Basically... I'm running away." She tilted her head, her curiosity lighted.

_Running away? From what? What could possibly have you, Edward, running? You're no coward._

I flinched. If only she knew just how cowardly I was. "I really can't explain it, Tanya." Just thinking about _her _made me tense and uncomfortable. "And frankly, I don't even want to think about it. Could I... I don't know, I need to take my mind off things."

_Oh, I have plenty ideas for that... okay sorry, sorry, I will stop. _I grimaced a little in her direction and she rolled her eyes. _Whatever, you little innocent. Come on, let's go find Eleazar, and Carmen. She will be thrilled to see you again..._

Sighing, I nodded and followed Tanya through the cold winter air. I just needed a distraction. I just needed to avoid her.

---

My mind was restless as I lay on the snow. It had been almost a week and I was right where I had started. Her scent was nowhere in this biting air, and it was almost hard to imagine her utter irresistibility, but just remembering the reflection of myself in that girl's deep eyes prevented me from returning home. Carmen had looked after me, fawning over me more than Esme, and doing nothing all this time had made me uneasy. I _wanted _to go home, to see my family again. But I was a coward. I could not bear to face my demon, and so here I was, having done nothing but mope and reflect obsessively upon the events of six days ago.

"Edward?" Carmen's motherly tone only reminded me of Esme, and I felt a slight pang in my chest as I thought of how she would be feeling; her beloved son, fled because of a mere _girl_... Esme was fiercely protective of her family, and I knew she would not feel easy again until I returned.

"Edward, we were thinking of going hunting. Would you care to join?" Hunting. All I'd done actively, was hunting. I was so full I felt like I'd been pumped to the brim with blood.

"No Carmen, thank you for the invitation but I think I'll pass." I waited for her to leave, but instead I heard her footsteps approach.

"Edward, _querido_, when are you going to go back home?" Her words startled me, and I looked up at her, frowning slightly.

"What... How do you know I'm going to go back at all?" I had spent the past six days debating that very thing.

"Really Edward? Are you really going to ask me that?" I looked at her, bemused as ever, and she chuckled softly, ruffling my hair. "Edward, you are going home. I know you will. You are going home, because nothing would stop you from being where you want to be. You are a very stubborn boy. Just look at Tanya's advances, and the way you deal with those! Whatever is keeping you away, you will find a way to overcome it. You are a strong boy, _querido_. And I have faith in you." She smiled at me, bringing me close in her embrace and I let her, stunned by her words.

"Now, I'm hungry for some deer, so I'll be off now!" She danced away lightly, throwing a quick grin over her shoulder and I smiled, true and heartfelt, for the first time in what felt like a very, very long time. Standing up, I shrugged the light layer of snow off me, my mind already working on my new plan. I would return, taking a few... precautions. I could not afford to be unprepared ever again. As my feet carried me back to the car, I briefly noted my regret at not leaving with a proper farewell. Carmen and Eleazar, Tanya and her sisters, had been nothing but accommodating and kind - leaving so abruptly was rude...

_Honestly Edward. Just go! _I could see Carmen smile through her mind, and I laughed briefly to myself. She knew me well.

I continued to the car, opening the door with the remote before getting in and starting the engine. My mind was set and I was confident. I would return home. I would remain strong. Isabella Swan could not keep me from where I wanted to be.

---

I sat with my siblings, again in the same table, everything poised almost exactly the same way as a week ago. And yet, everything had changed. I was on high-alert, my senses tuned to every minuscule detail of what I had once thought a dull scene. My mind sifted through every thought as if on fast-forward - a safety procedure, I needed to know if Isabella had leaked anything suspicious about me or my family. I came up blank, and was relieved; if anything, she had kept her theories behind my wild behaviour to herself, though most likely out of the understanding that, had she confided in anyone, her theories would probably be met with doubt or utter dismissal.

_Edward, calm down. You're making me nervous, and we all know I don't need any of that. _I had been so focussed on the goings of the school's once mundane cafeteria that I didn't notice Jasper address me. Surprised, I looked straight at him, but immediately felt a twinge of guilt. Alice's ever sharp eyes noticed, of course, and her thoughts assaulted me at once.

_What is it?? What can you hear? His future hasn't changed... it looks fine to me, what's going on..._

Her mind became less coherent as she concentrated all her thoughts on Jasper and his wellbeing.

_Edward! Did you really have to do that?? Now look at what I'll have to put up with! Even if I do tell her that I'm fine... _I winced slightly, shrugging my shoulders in regret. Usually, I would have managed to have an indiscreet conversation with Jasper, in a way where Alice wouldn't notice anything, but _Isabella _had truly ruined me, and I'd forgotten about it completely.

"Calm down Alice, I wasn't concentrating and he tried to get my attention. I'm just a little... nervous." My hands grasped and ungrasped, and my body felt tenser than ever before.

"Why did you need his attention? Jazz? What's up, you know you can tell me?" Alice was tugging on Jasper's sleeve, and I knew, out of personal experience too, that she wasn't making it any better. Jasper's mind became more and more agitated, intensified by my nerves and I felt the need to help him out.

"Alice, just leave him!"

"Wow, you guys all have sticks up your arses!" Emmett, as always, was crude and brash, but at least it got Alice's attention. "You know guys, maybe we should skip a class and finish up that snowball fight, what do you say!" Emmett's enthusiasm had no one fooled - Jasper had pegged him with one right in the face earlier, and we all knew he just wanted payback. Still, I couldn't help but smile as he shook his dripping hair all over the table, laughing as we all leant away. This was what we should be like; we were siblings through and through, closer than many other families, even though we lacked the shared genes.

_Yes, you guys are perfect! She shouldn't suspect anything, we just look like normal teenagers! _Alice's thoughts broke through my brief distraction, and immediately I was brought crashing down. I couldn't afford to lose concentration now - my mission was vital and required every bit of strength I could find. Remembering _the girl's_ strange mental block, I used the next best option and focussed on Jessica Stanley's thoughts. Immediately, I saw a replay of Emmett flicking us with the water from his hair, with an uncomfortable focus in her mind on me and my... body.

"Bella, what are you staring at?" Accompanying her words was Jessica's line of sight as it landed straight on me. _Bella _was looking at _me?_

I lifted my eyes, catching _Bella's_ gaze immediately, almost smiling as her eyes widened, and she dropped her head in surprise. Why would she do that? Avoid my eyes... oh you idiot Edward, why do you think? Maybe because you almost blew a _hole _through her face last time with your glares?I continued watching her, curiosity lighting in my mind. Not hearing her thoughts was a bother, especially since the way I'd acted, but it was almost... _refreshing, _to have to dig a little deeper for some answers. No doubt that feeling would fade quickly, replaced with pure frustration.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you." Jessica must be a really good actress, because though to Bella, she was giggling, her thoughts were nothing but friendly. _Must be nice for him to have another piece of ass to look at... since SOME aren't good enough for him, hmph! What does she have that I don't..._ I rolled my eyes internally, not wanting Jessica to note that down.

"He doesn't look angry, does he?" Ah, there was her voice. I let out a breath that I hadn't know I was holding, sighing as I exhaled. Of course she would have noticed my actions at our last (and first) meeting. I would just have to remedy that... and it would take a lot. I would need to get as much fresh air before this...

"Alice, I'm going for some air. See you after... Biology." A week ago and none of them would have cared. But now, now they all knew, whether or not we would be able to stay in our comfortable life in Forks would depend on whether I could endure Biology... A week ago and _I _was complaining about having to endure Biology... if only I'd know how much worse it could get. I stood up slowly to leave, walking slowly as the encouragements of my family followed me.

_Good luck Edward. I've managed, and if I can, so can you. _If only Jasper knew how much more potent..._ Bella_ was than all the others.

_You'll be fine, Eddie boy! I mean... I wasn't, but I was younger and newer... I trust you. _Emmett was always the light one, and for him to have put some genuine emotion in meant quite a bit.

_If he screws up, he's going to ruin it for all of us... Forks is the one place we can be outside most of the time... we've just come, I am NOT leaving again! _Rosalie, of course, thought first and foremost of her own needs.

_Love you Edward. You'll do the right thing. _Alice. Little Alice. Though she could be the most annoying pest ever, she was the closest to me, and I wanted to prove myself - I wanted to be what my family deserved - by staying strong through this.

I decided to stay in the car for the remainder of lunch. Using as much time as possible to prepare myself for what I knew was to come would be in everyone's best interests. Winding the window down to let in some fresh air, I played some Debussy, knowing if anything, that would calm me down. The soft melody of Clair de Lune began floating out, and I closed my eyes, breathing deeply and slowly. Several tracks had run before I decided to check the time, but when I did, all the calm that I'd layered upon myself flooded away. I couldn't _do _this! I wasn't strong enough...

_You'll do the right thing... _Damn that Alice. Strengthening myself with a deep breath, I left my car and walked towards Biology, hesitating for a moment at the door before entering. Mr Banner hadn't started yet, but the microscopes and slides for his coming lesson had been set out already, and at my, or our table, Bella Swan was already sitting. I walked slowly to the desk, not allowing a single whiff of air pass through me, until I reached her. Her dark hair was over her shoulder, and she was sketching something, roughly and mindlessly, and checking over her shoulder confirmed that they were just random swirls and lines. She hadn't noticed me yet. My breath was still held, but if I wanted to seem human, I would have to try and talk to her, convince her that I was not the monster I'd shown her a week ago.

Steeling myself, I took the first breath.


End file.
